My Year of Fearlessly Finding my Voice
This blog post is a bit different. It’s about 17 blog posts in one that attempts to wrap up my year. I hope you will forgive the style and just jump to the parts you are interested in. This has been a big year for me, so let’s get going!
Liberation
At 52, I've discovered my voice as a songwriter.
#1 Song (fun to write that ha ha)
I released my first song ever called Run With The Dog in February of this year. I wrote this song in dedication to losing my dear friend Bill Walters in 2016. The healing power of writing music is hard to describe, but I’ll do my best here. Claiming one’s own voice and appreciating the sound we naturally make is the ultimate form of self-acceptance if you ask me.
My Second Song
I released my second song appropriately called “Song I’m Afraid to Write” in September. The lyrics speak for themselves (easy for me to say ha!), but the message is really about not waiting for permission from the other side. Could be the other side of our hopeful selves, our lost ancestors, or the stories that haunt us from our past. The story I let go of this year was that I couldn’t write a song. I don’t have the talent. I wasn’t touched by fire or God or Obi-Wan Kenobi.
My Next Release: Down River
My third song Down River was released in January of 2024.
Follow me on social media if you’d like to follow along. Down River is yet another song born from grief, but it’s very special to me.
Here’s a link to the Soundcloud recording of the song.
A little more on the story:
The last words I heard my father say were “I gotta get across that river.”
The most intimate moment I ever had with my father was while fishing in Idaho. Dad reached out and grabbed my hand to help me cross a very swift river. Time seemed to stop.
This song is dedicated to him and has all of the beauty and complexity of a father-son relationship.
I love you Dad and carry you in my heart forever.
Here’s a short lyrical excerpt from Down River
There’s a cross at the bottom of the river
There’s a man fishing upstream for the cross
There’s a boy in a fishing hole, looking for his soul
Sayin’ take my hand and help me get across
There’s a cross deep down river
Take my hand, help me understand
Yes Actually
And so it goes that I’ve now written over 20 songs and am working on my solo show! My own self-doubt can’t believe I’m writing those words but that’s the truth. SUCK IT self-doubt! My musical friends and teachers have been immensely supportive. Quick plug to follow my band if you are in the Seattle area. We share the mic and allow each of us to sing a few of our songs which feels like a good way to perform. I’ll also be doing some solo shows soon to keep stretching into the areas that my old stories told me I shouldn’t.
Some Props for my Profs
My musical journey this year would have been impossible without me and all my hard work so I’m going to claim that. It would also have been impossible without my teachers this year
The Brother’s Koren’s Songwriter’s Journey was a powerful course that taught me to find ONE thing about my voice that I could fall in love with. I also completed my training as a Your Big Voice Master Coach and am now helping clients find their own voice as a songwriter. Exciting times!
My wonderful and compassionate voice teacher Jen Ayers who also pushes her own edge by releasing her AMAZING show “SHe Said” I highly recommend her teaching if you are struggling to find your best voice. She customizes her teaching for each student and helps me find new voices I didn’t know were possible.
My patient and gifted piano teacher Danny Kolke who released an awesome book called BeeBop By the Numbers on learning to improvise on the piano. I went to college with Danny and I am so thrilled I looked him up. Go hear him play if you want to be inspired!
Sound = Energy = Transformation
We can measure sound. It’s real and invisible at the same time. The songwriting process and final results feel like magic to me --I get goosebumps as I find a melody line that resonates with my heart and soul. I feel tingly all over as lyrics flow out of me from some other plane of existence. I also wince in frustration or maybe even pain as my voice sometimes refuses to cooperate. Making art is messy business. It is effortless to NO ONE. It can feel effortless at times, which is a seductive experience that keeps me chasing her… the tune in my head… flighty, courageous, mysterious. And so I return each day to write a bit, make a beat, explore some new chords I’m learning.
We Teach What We Need to Learn 📒
In March, I published my first self-help book called Doubt Riding Shotgun which chronicles my own journey of working through my self-doubt as a coach, songwriter, and more. The book has received 29 5-Star reviews on Amazon which is really amazing to me. And Yet…
Book Reviews Please! 📒
Amazon still does nothing to help me sell the book, so please add your review if you are able to! Advertising has been a challenge but I’m not discouraged. I’ll keep at it. I’ve lowered the price to 4.99 for the holidays to make it an impulse buy 🙂 Getting rid of our self-doubt should be a basic human impulse, and yet it is not, so I’m doing my part to try and help.
UPDATED: Group Coaching Is Happening Now!
I just LOVE coaching groups and guiding them through change. The growth is exponential as we hear one another’s stories. Please check out my Group Coaching offer called Doubters Anonymous. It’s a powerful group and they are already experiencing great results.
Private Coaching
I often have space for 2-3 more private coaching clients. If you are interested, drop me a note and we can talk about what’s right for you. Please also feel free to pass my info along to a colleague, friend or family member.
Most of my clients come from referrals, as I primarily share my content to inspire others rather than using social media or coaching platforms. Here’s what a few of my previous clients say about my work for them.
I believe in the power of results, and I encourage you to share my availability if you feel moved to do so.
Coaching could be a fantastic opportunity for you or someone you know to work on something deeply significant in 2024.
The Road Ahead
This year marks a creative rebirth for me through embracing songwriting and overcoming the doubts holding me back. I discovered my voice by leaning into grief rather than running from it, finding catharsis in lyrics and melodies. The experience awakened a drive to help others push past their inner critics to unlock their full potential.
If aspects of my journey resonate with you, I encourage you to take that first step towards self-expression today in whatever form calls to you. Sign up for my newsletter to stay updated on new song releases, shows, and to receive tips on nurturing creativity.
If you’re feeling stuck, apply for coaching – let’s have an honest conversation about what success means for you and build a plan to get there. Your story is still being written. The most magical part lies ahead.
I hope my songs and message stir you to reflect on what you want to emerge uniquely through you next year. Our world needs your full voice.
