Intentional Rest
"Wow, look at that serene, well-rested, and grounded person,” said No One ever.
Let's face it, as a culture, we don’t celebrate rest.
When we go on vacation, it is often about the doing.
We go somewhere new.
We plan activities.
We see friends, family.
We eat lots of stuff.
It can be fun, exciting and exhausting all at once.
Sometimes we opt for a “staycation” where we just stay put.
We tell our friends "I can’t wait to just do nothing.”
We imagine finishing long lost projects.
Or sleeping in like a teenager.
We plan on appreciating our home, which we may not fully notice as we work.
For me at least, staycations have often been about "catching up” with all the “shoulds" of everyday.
Cars get washed. Weeds are pulled. Errands are run. Maybe I take a longer yoga class.
Afterwards, I feel better about my general affairs, but I wouldn’t say I feel well rested.
After all, binge watching a show is doing something.
And add kids to the mix and it really feels like more work than vacation.
When we return from any type of time away, our work colleagues often ask,
How was your vacation?
Did you get a chance to unplug?
What did you do?
Did you have a good time?
Don't you just feel so relaxed?
We treat vacation as the only time to truly relax.
After all, it’s called PTO (or personal time off).
In my time as a VP of Marketing or running a startup, coming back can feel like, "Ugh. I’m exhausted and I don’t want to be here. What I really needed was to have my batteries recharged, to feel rested, and reclaim my energy. rest."
But a couple coffees later, I’m back at it. Meeting up a storm and firing off emails.
What Happened to Rest?
What I think is missing from culture is our relishing of true rest; the kind of rest that truly heals, restores, and opens us up fully to what is already here. Only then, are we ready for what is to come.
Rest is made up of at least three interrelated facets: Mind, soul, and body.
In my experience, each facet can be tuned into with intention.
Resting any one facet opens up the others.
Ignoring one facet for a long time shuts down a more holistic feeling of rest.
Resting mind
Resting our mind is about claiming respite from the cacophony of information we carry and create. We are all overstimulated, over-educated, and yet perpetually seek more “content”
When we do this, we cover up our own inner knowing with a flood of external sources.
Taking time to rest the mind is akin to allowing the springtime muddy mountain rivers to filter out the silt and become clear again. Resting the snow globe and allowing it to settle.
When we unplug from the infotainment fountain, we can allow the flood of data, pithy quotes, readings, thoughts, and interactions to fall away.
We allow our subconscious minds a break from the bombardment, a chance to catch up. We process the best bits of the chatter and let go of what we don’t deem essential. Most importantly, we synthesize our inputs into our future thoughts and ideas. We integrate the learning and the letting go.
For a simple taste, take a long walk without a podcast or music blaring in your ears. Leave your phone at home and just spend some time noticing each step you take.
Another example is the simplest form of meditation: To simply sit with your eyes closed and notice your breath for a few minutes. As thoughts come, simply go back to the breath and know that you have plenty of thoughts already.
If you cannot escape the noise of the modern world, rest into that and let that noise become your teacher. Like noticing the breath, notice the most prominent noise or visual stimulation you have and see if you can determine where it stops vs. where it starts. A simple body scan can also help settle the racing thoughts.
Rest into the comfort of knowing that you are choosing to rest your mind.
Resting Soul
Our soul may be restless, neglected, or undernourished. Rest (and RESToration) of our soul level can be the most powerful type of rest there is.
Resting our soul is about grounding us and returning to our foundation.
It’s that solid feeling of clear values and principles.
We feel appreciative for each day.
We practice more gratitude and acceptance of others. We gain insight into how fragile each moment can be.
To rest our soul, it often takes longer stretches of time and reflection.
A journal is a welcome ally and companion, which is where this blog post was born from.
Grief can shock us into resting our soul, or even arresting our soul.
When a death or loss of any kind happens, we stop in our tracks and take time to contemplate what truly matters.
We feel disoriented, or perhaps more aware of how little rest our soul has had over the years.
Gentle contemplation (journaling, therapy, spiritual work) is a more gradual way into resting our soul.
Appreciation or gratitude practices can cultivate the clarity of matters.
We can come into relationship with our own soul.
For me, these practices along with reading poetry, listening to music, and some quiet reflection help me celebrate life’s tremendous beauty and my place in it.
I encourage you to find your own way of resting soul and relishing in the search of this important aspect of your life’s essence.
Resting Body
A rested body is a resilient body. We feel the natural life energy flowing through us.
We feel more alive, solid, and sometimes also uncomfortable with the limited bag of bones we occupy.
We even feel we need more rest. Rest is not a fix-it plan.
Since we never completely heal or restore.
Age will always remind us of what is to come.
But as we stop challenging our physical nature, we learn to balance and honor our systems.
Then, we feel more ready to absorb what is next.
When we heal from a broken bone or other body trauma, we are not ever good as new.
But when we rest, we heal. We are able to go on.
When the body rests, it allows for other types of rests to integrate, to fall into place.
Our rested body can hold and carry our spirit.
A rested body even includes our brain, conspicuously located in the body.
To rest the body, we often think of sleep. I would add that intentional sleep (e.g. going to bed early, taking an afternoon nap, or closing your eyes in a comfortable chair, are all forms of resting your body.
Another intentional rest I’ve found valuable is the Savasana (or corpse pose) usually done at the end of a yoga session.
Time to Rest
Are you ready for some intentional rest? I sure am.
Some ideas to get you started:
Imagine you are going to spend a regular work week with more intentional rest.
Spend some time thinking about what you will miss out on. Go on, write it out.
What will you miss if you turn off all activity after 7PM?
What are you truly concerned that you would miss if you left your phone on the kitchen table at night?
What’s scary about zero activity?
Now, let’s work on the reframe:
What would your life feel like if you could learn to rest more intentionally?
What might be gained if you went to bed early? Took a nap? Cancelled an appointment?
I am going to admit, I’m pretty new to this intentional rest thing.
I’ve often glorified being busy and worn it like a badge of honor. If I’m busy, I must be doing lots of valuable stuff right? If I’m getting things done, I bet I’ll make lots of trackable progress and feel better about something.
As you are learning to rest, what kinds of rest feels the best to you?
What feels restorative and healing?
As I learn to be compassionate with my own relationship with rest, I smile watching my kids as they always want to stay up late.
I remember my parents always always urging me to go to bed early, but reflecting back, I think that was for other reasons.
If you are inspired, please drop me a line and let me know how you are resting these days and what is working for you. Or share this with someone you care about that could use some more rest.
Thanks for reading!
