With Doubt Riding Shotgun, I Drive On

There are more than a million reasons why you should never do anything. 

If you listen to reason and take stock in what’s at risk, it’s better to just binge-watch the latest Netflix series and go to bed early. 

You probably don’t really have much to offer anyway that hasn’t already been offered before.

Whatever bold thing you were considering, is probably too hard and you will most likely fail. 

Scratch that, I’m sure you’ll fail. 

And then you’ll be a laughing stock or a shame to your family or worse, have to work even harder for the next thing you want to do. 

When you were young, you were fearless, but you had nothing to say and didn’t know what the hell to do with all your free time. 

As you got older, you learned how treacherous life can be and how even the most natural human activities can be quite demanding: Eating healthy, getting a good night’s sleep, or the right amount of exercise

But something happened to you along the way and you stumbled onto a feverish dream. 

You started to imagine someathing that hadn’t ever existed before.

It was exciting for a brief minute and gave you a couple of goosebumps. 

You thought about it when you were walking your dog as you rounded the second corner. 

You felt a bit different that day and looked up at the morning moon gleaming in the blue-gray sky. 

She was still there shining from the night before… like a remnant of your dream. It followed you (and your dog) down the street. Something seemed possible and it transported you away from your street and this morning, into a future where things were different. 

But then you felt a tug and your dog was chasing a squirrel and had pooped on your neighbor’s lawn. It was time to get home and check your email before heading off to work. As you returned home, the moon was gone and you brought your dog back to his bed. You shake your head and can’t even remember that dream. 

It isn’t likely possible anyway… so why bother. 

But after a couple of days, the dream returned. 

This time it’s a bit more clear.

You call a friend and talk it through. 

You do a little research on the internet. 

You sketch a couple of notes. 

Then you get a text from your doctor telling you to check your message portal. 

And off you go. 

Sadly, you move on from the dream and it fades into background noise, like radio static. 

In time, the dream comes again and again and takes on new forms. 

It becomes more vivid, exciting and alive. 

And yet each time it leaves, you feel a bit sad. 

Like you are leaving a part of yourself behind. 

It’s like a small defeat that gets worse each time. 

This is what happens to the silly dreams we don’t choose to believe in. 

We let them go for sensible reasons. 

We let them fade away like wounds turning to scars. 

We listen to our annoying passenger, named Doubt, who has been right so many times… 

Author note:

I hope you enjoyed this post. I’m writing differently now, with Doubt riding shotgun as I drive on.

Please let me know what you thought 0f this post and how it resonated with you.

I’m working on an ebook by this same name and plan to publish it in 2021.

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