Taking Yourself on a Date: Nurturing Self-Care Through Small Acts of Love

Have you ever taken yourself on a date? Why not today?

Taking yourself on a date can be simply waiting for the snow globe to calm. As you sit, notice your body and relax into your broader awareness.

My mom had a remarkable way of knowing when she needed time for herself. She’d say, "I think I need a mental health day," and take the opportunity to unwind, care for herself, and reconnect. Inspired by her, I’ve come to think of these intentional moments as "taking myself on a date." It may sound a bit romantic, but really, it’s about honoring your need for quality time alone—just you, focusing on what helps you feel safe, cared for, and comfortable.

Imagine if you were caring for someone else who really needed it—what would you do? Maybe you’d offer a cozy blanket, a hot drink, or a chance to just sit and breathe without expectations. This kind of care has a unique way of helping us calm down, letting our lizard brain step back from the flight-or-fight mode. When we’re relaxed, our deeper wisdom comes forward, ready to guide us.

Reflecting on Life’s Big Moments

Think about a time when you made a significant decision—choosing a life partner, starting a new path, or even discovering a transformative book. What led you to make that choice? Often, it’s moments of peace and connection with ourselves that give rise to our wisest insights.

Think of it as coaxing out the “wisdom animal” that lives within us. Like a lover who only opens up when they feel completely safe, our intuitive self is waiting to share insights and truths—but only if we give it the right conditions. In the midst of life’s noise, this quiet part of us might feel hidden or even on sabbatical, holding out until we’re ready to listen.

The truth is, you probably already know what matters most to you, even if it’s buried under layers of daily stress and distraction. Sometimes talking things out with a friend can help, but it can also stir up more voices, opinions, and worries, drowning out our own. Often, the answers are already within; we just have to take the time to let them rise to the surface.

My Self-Care Practices

For me, "self-dates" are filled with body work like yoga and weightlifting, meditation, and time with my music. Stretching reminds me of growth, both physically and emotionally. Meditation quiets my mind and lets intuition speak up, while music connects me to something larger than myself—a cosmic tuning that keeps me centered.

Ideas for Building Self-Compassion and Self-Worth

Forest bathing, or taking a walk in nature, is a wonderful way to reconnect to yourself.

Imagine yourself as someone who needs care. How would you comfort and support this person? How would you help them feel safe and at ease?

When we relax, our brain’s fight-or-flight response softens, allowing us to connect with our deeper wisdom.

Recall a time you made a life-changing decision—choosing a partner, attending a school, reading a transformative book. What helped you make that choice?

Here’s a list of self-care practices to build self-worth and compassion:

  1. Positive Self-Talk
    Practice speaking kindly to yourself. Replace negative thoughts with affirming ones.

  2. Daily Gratitude
    Write down three things you’re grateful for every day to shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life.

  3. Solo Time for Reflection
    Spend time alone in nature or in a peaceful space to connect with yourself and recharge.

  4. Celebrate Small Wins
    Acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest achievements. This reinforces your sense of capability.

  5. Creative Expression
    Engage in creative activities like writing, drawing, or playing music that you enjoy and are good at, reminding yourself of your talents.

  6. Mindfulness or Meditation
    Spend time meditating or practicing mindfulness to ground yourself and reduce self-judgment.

  7. Affirmations
    Create a list of positive affirmations and say them to yourself daily to reinforce a sense of worth.

  8. Set Boundaries
    Protect your energy by saying no when necessary and maintaining healthy boundaries in relationships.

  9. Self-Care Rituals
    Engage in nurturing activities like taking a bath, going for a walk, or enjoying your favorite meal as a form of self-love.

  10. Physical Movement
    Exercise or engage in physical activities that you enjoy, which can boost endorphins and your sense of well-being.

  11. Journaling
    Write down your thoughts and feelings to process emotions and track your progress toward self-love.

  12. Learn Something New
    Take a class or read a book on a subject that excites you, building confidence in your ability to grow.

  13. Practice Forgiveness
    Let go of past mistakes by forgiving yourself, understanding that you’re allowed to grow and improve.

  14. Take Yourself on a Date
    Spend quality time doing something you love, whether it’s going to a movie, a nice restaurant, or a park—just for you.

  15. Surround Yourself with Positivity
    Cultivate relationships with people who lift you up and believe in you.

  16. Limit Social Media
    Reduce time on platforms that trigger comparison and negative feelings about yourself.

  17. Act "As If"
    Practice embodying the traits you admire in others—confidence, kindness, creativity—by acting as if you already have them.

How Will You Take Yourself on a Date?

These self-care practices are just options, but the most meaningful moments often come when we allow ourselves to simply be. So, ask yourself: what do you need to feel loved and cared for? How might you take yourself on a date to show that love? Whether it’s a quiet moment, a favorite activity, or a peaceful place, trust that you already know how to show up for yourself—one mindful step at a time.

YOUR MOVE: How do you take yourself on a date?

What do you do for self-care that demonstrates self-love?

Previous
Previous

Self-Doubt is Trying to Protect Us

Next
Next

Doubt Riding Shotgun